what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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