Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
