pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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