Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
