Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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