Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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