He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
