i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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