Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
