guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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