I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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