I'm really into asian looking animals
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
