I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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