Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize