After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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