He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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