just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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