Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
