so that wasnt chicken after all
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
