Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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