They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
