White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
