just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Randomize
