i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She's the barista slut.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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