I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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