i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
