saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
