Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
