Whod you bang
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
