That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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