I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
