Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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