I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
