I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
