Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
