i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Oh god it's open bar.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
