thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
