Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is Oprah even human
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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