..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
