I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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