Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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