not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
