You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i out mim tonsoeep
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
