:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
