You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
