In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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