found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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