I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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