I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
