Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
