You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
