just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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