discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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