well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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