Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Two words: nipple clamps
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