The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
someone owes me an orgasm
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
