if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
