loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
