talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
