you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize