I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
