Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
